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Paging Dr. NerdLove

Jan 17, 2018

(Content Warning: Sexual Assault)

Normally I don’t do too many episodes about current events in the news; I tend to save that for the blog. But recently I had a lot to say on Twitter about the situation with Aziz Ansari and as it turns out, I’ve got more to say. The issue with Ansari has less to do with "bad dates" or litigating why someone doesn't leave and everything to do with how we talk about sex and consent. How does someone who's a safe ally to women, someone who's supposed to be the guy who "gets it" still get it wrong when it comes to consent?

Show highlights: 

  • How we get consent wrong
  • Why asking "why didn't she leave" is the wrong question
  • How one person's "completely consensual" encounter can be the worst night of someone's life
  • Why "mixed signals" are anything but
  • How we create a culture were "no" means "try harder"

...and so much more.

Related Links:

I Went On A Date With Aziz Ansari. It Turned Into The Worst Night of My Life 

Eve Ewing: On the Subject of Why Didn't She Just Leave? 

Can Consent Be Sexy? 

When "Yes" Really Means "No" 

The Standard of Enthusiastic Consent 

How to Turn  A No Into a Yes